spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
