Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
