i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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