Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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