Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
