Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
