new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
there is glitter all over my balls
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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