It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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