he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
