It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Who put my cat in the fridge?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
