How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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