I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
