she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
