Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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