fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
