I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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