did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
