so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
