airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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