week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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