Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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