"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
