Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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