I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
