Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
