If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
