erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Randomize
