he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
