Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
