meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
