WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
