Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
