Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
