are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
