Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
