Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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