she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
