goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
