I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
