When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
