Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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