I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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