in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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