Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
