it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I stole a fireplace last night.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
