Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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