...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
