The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I could have mohawked her pubes.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
