So gin and wine won't be happening again
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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