My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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