i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
